The Spam Machine

Hindi ko alam kung totoong tanggap ko na, o pati sarili ko, niloloko ko lang. Alam kong may natutunan ako sa mga nagdaang araw, pero hindi ko alam kung ang mga natutunan kong iyon ay ang mga dapat ko talagang matutunan. Nagpapasalamat akong may malasakit pa pala ang tadhana sa aki't inilapag nya ako --- hindi binagsak o iniwan kung saan-saan --- sa lugar na makapagpapasaya sa akin nang lubusan. Talagang buong-puso naman akong sinalo at tinanggap ng lugar na ito, walang pag-aalinlangan, purong intensyon. Kaya lang, ang problema ko ngayon, kung gusto ko pa ba talagang balikan ang nakagawian ko rati, o eto na nga ba ang nakagawian ko at wala na ang "dating" nais balikan? Ewan. Salamat nalang siguro sa pakikiramay, pero hindi ko pa talaga alam ang tiyak na aking nararamdaman. Pagsisisi? Hindi ko namang masasabing hindi ako naging mas masaya rito. Inggit? Masaya naman akong nasa kasalukuyan, at hindi palutang-lutang sa nakaraan. Atsaka, masaya narin ako sa pagbabalik-tanaw lang sa "rati". Kalungkutan? Hello?! Ilang beses ko na bang nabanggit na masaya ako? Pangungulila? Baka, pero may mga tao namang tumanggap at nakaunawa sa akin. FYI, sagana ako sa friends. Samakatuwid, kahit balubaluktot ang pilosopiya ko, walang problema. Pero bakit ko naisusulat ito? Sa dinami-rami ng pagpipiliang maisulat, pwede namang yung assignment ko nalang sa Bio ang inatupag ko ngayon. Ewan. Ayun, alam ko na ang mali ko. "Ewan. Bahala na si Lord. Manigas ka." Nawalan na ako ng malasakit sa kapwa ko mga bangag pag Chinese (gaya ngayon), sa kapwa ko tao. Bakit? Paano? Kailan pa? Ewan nang tatlong beses. Gaano? Kanino? Ewan. Anong gagawin ko? Bahala na si Lord. E anong balak ko? Manigas ka. Bakit ako nagkakaganito? Ewan. Tulong naman d'yan, baka alam mo ang sagot. Baka nabasa mo sa jokebook o kung saang sexy magazine na nakatambak sa garahe ninyo ang sagot sa mga tanong ko. Please, sagutin mo 'ko. O mas mabuti pa, ibigay mo nalang sa akin ang kopya ng jokebook (o sexy magazine) na 'yon. Pero sana, wag mo 'kong sagutin ng ewan.

Karagdagang pasasalamat kay Bob Ong na naging inspirasyon ko sa pagsusulat ng talatang ito. (Katatapos ko lang kasing basahin ang isa sa mga libro nya, ngayong Chinese.)

(This narrative story will be divided into several vignettes. Updates will be random.)
Vignette 2

Today, I Wed

The daughter approached his father with teary eyes, to speak of what was certain. The crystal teardrops were mixed with joy, love, fear, and hope. Her hair was coal black, and her skin blazing in sunshine white. She approached him in her white fabric dress, flowing with the rhythm of the wind.

The sky was clouded, and the towering trees dimmed the fields. As the breeze swept through every crack on their house; as the gentle wind caressed the glowing skin of her mother; as the zephyr of the skies lifted the kites of their neighbours’ children, she flew with the wind. She swam with the wind.

And with no other words, as though in farewell, she spoke of these to her father,

“Today, I had wed with death.”

(This narrative story will be divided into several vignettes. Updates will be random.)
Vignette 1

The Harvest

A misshapen farmer was ploughing his vegetations with his aged carabao, whilst his wife laundered the heap of silk fabric they had used in their daughter’s wedding. He was an unsightly man, with a mountain rested on his back. His hands were crooked, that similar of his poultry, and his skin scaly as that of a snake’s. Nonetheless, he had a heart of pure gold.

The rain poured down one evening and the disadvantaged family’s house, with a thin roof punctured by the strong gusts and sharp acid rain, was left struggling through the hurricane. That thin roof which had shielded them from the sun’s bright smirks; that wooden pole which had held up their prides and honor; and those metal casseroles which had cooked them good food, all was taken by the storm.

And tomorrow was harvest day.

So far, I have just realized that none in my to-do list has been done.

1. I didn't hate Mr. Del Rosario not Ms. Ileto for giving us assignments. I did not doubt that I will have done any of those because I was sure.
2. I was so excited about November 1's family excursion, no doubts.
3. I didn't "look for the freaking DSL hotline and start badmouthing whoever picks up the damn call center telephone."
4. My phone is still breathing.
5. My achi is slightly injured.
6. My table is still hell.
7. The lightbulb was fixed anyway.
8. The stats were, well, part pathetic, part emo.
9. I hate math. (Favorite sentence.)
10.

Remember, Remember, the First of November
It was the first of November when my heart nearly leapt out of my circulatory system, suspending my ecstasy to an almost irritating figure. What more should you not want more than not being able to sleep until two o’clock in the morning? I’ll answer that. Subic.

Shampooing, My OCD?
It was five o’clock when I woke up, not to hassle myself to rush since I can clearly see that everyone just woke up. I jumped off the bed with not much excitement until I noticed we were off for Subic in the next few hours. I took an atypical bath, shampooing my hair twice-again. I get this funny paranoia whenever I am too excited, I tend to shampoo my hair more than what is necessary.

I didn’t know that!
So six o’clock came, and everyone was hopping in the car. We should be, since our initial call time was four in the morning, so much for not being late. Around 20 minutes after we left, well, I didn’t really know what happened, me eyes were shut closed.

The Most Glamorous 50 Minutes of My Life
We arrived at Subic 11 o’clock in the morning, and checked in. Actually, we burst our eyes in boredom in waiting not knowing that we were already checked in. So when my uncle came and gave us the magnificent news that we were brainless dupes waiting 50 minutes for nothing, we hurried to our cabin where we slept-again. This was, in fact, the highlight of our Subic-trip. We untalentedly wasted 50 minutes of our November first.

Dear Diary
Okay, I have decided I won’t do a long diary-post, since it is tedious and no body will pro’ly read it (like my profile). Instead, I’ll make a list of the things I learned/realized during my three-day-oh-crap-I-broke-my-backbone stay in Subic.

Enlightenments:
*Do not eat watermelons with the seeds in the fruit, and then try to spit the seeds out, you’ll just find your plate soaked with spit-bathed red stuff.
*Do not bring your Havaianas slippers in a tug-of-war game; it has the “tendency” to break.
*Do not shampoo your hair twice with the shampoo sachet your mom gave you, your dihia may have nothing to use.
*Do not bring a book titled “Marley & Me” especially if you do not want it to get wet.
*Do not forget to bring extra underwear.
*Do not forget to bring sunblock. Otherwise, you’ll have a FREAKING ITCHY BATOK.
*Do not bring cloth sewn slippers to the beach, because A. The sand goes in. B. It gets wet for the next 5 days. C. You have to wear your yaya’s un-fancy extra slippers.
*Do not eat Nagaraya at 11 o’clock in the evening, it stains the bed.
*Do not break your backbone – in any way – in an obstacle race.
*Do not drink pool water, especially if it’s chlorine-proof.
*Do not bring your UNO Cards at the beach during nighttimes, they get lost.
*Do not bury your cousin – little cousin –‘s slippers under a sand castle.
*Do not try to drown the frogs, they pee.

~Just have fun!